A Morris Man's Tale Part 4 by Derek+the+Morris

Rating: 91%, Read 6598 times, Posted Dec 21, 2012

Fiction |

All characters are fictitious, If a character name is used in connection with a side, it’s just co-incidence if that given name belongs in that side. Insofar as song lyrics being included I don’t know the legalities or etiquette involved, I have given the opening few and last few lines if that is all that is needed or the song in full if the text needs it and credit to the author in either case, traditional songs are treated the same but credited as Traditional.

This is a fiction story, not fantasy and while there is a lot of passion and some very erotic action in later parts and in book two if you are looking for raw action then I am sorry but this isn't the book for you.

I must apologise for an admin cock up yesterday, a duplicated Chapter Five of the original appeared in parts 2 and 3,

Chapter Eight

Revelations and Education

We continue to cuddle and snuggle closely together, lying on our sides facing other, looking closely at her, I ask, ”Jenny, please pardon my bluntness in asking this, but have you had much experience with men, I don’t want the details, just the bones,”

“I have never been with a man before; you are the first man to hold me in that way, I am so sorry.”

“What do you mean sorry, what have you done wrong?

“I am a 25 year old virgin, totally inexperienced I don’t know how to act or what to do.” At the end of this little tirade she starts to cry again.

“Look at me,,,, please,,, let me dry your tears, I kiss away most of the moisture, and wipe away the rest, there is absolutely no reason to cry, you did what you wanted to do at the time, and I am thankful for that, is that what you meant when you were talking about standards and peer pressure this afternoon?

“Yes, I feel so embarrassed, like a little girl at school again.”

“Come here again, Just a little kiss, then I must make a brew and think about dinner”

“You are so, so, so good to me, I can’t think how to possibly repay you for all your kindness.”

“On the assumption that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, please feed me.”

“Of course, love, teach me the way the cooker works.” We rise and go to the cooker, and stand arms around each other, I have my right hand free to point out;

“The six knobs on the top control the four burners and the grill, the one nearest operates the spark ignition. On the front is the oven control, I think the numbers correspond with gas mark numbers, there is no spark ignition on the oven, There is an igniter in the cutlery draw here, all the pans are under the oven. That is just about it, are you ok with it?

“It doesn’t look too difficult, I should be ok and what are you going to do?”

“First job is to make the brew that I was supposed to do twenty minutes ago.” I start by re-boiling the kettle and getting the fixings out, once the pot of tea is made, I ask.

“Is there anything you need me to do?”

“Not for a while, thanks.”

“Right, while the tea is brewing I will take Harry’s stick bag back and the tankards, while I am down there I will get your shopping.”

“Ok love, see you in a little bit, give me a kiss to keep me going.”

I give her a little soft kiss, no more than five seconds, Jenny responds quickly. ”Must go; see you in a little bit.” Wow! Jenny could become sooo addictive, I am almost trotting on air as I go down to Blackwater and I go to Ken’s awning, “anyone in” “Hi Frank, you ok? You’re very red,” “I’m fine, just bought your tankards back, do you have Jenny’s shopping” “Sorry no, Harry has it now we all did another swop round halfway up the hill.” “Right, thanks, Jenny has just started cooking, see you in a couple of hours or so.” I walk across to Harry’s van and call, “anyone in, I bring sticks and tankards in exchange for shopping” “Just a moment, Frank, I’ve got to get rid of the last of the face paint.” After a minute or so he comes out with two carrier bags and I give him two tankards. See you in a couple of hours or so,” I trot back to my van, why am I in such a hurry? Why do I ask myself such stupid questions?

“Back again, treasure, anything you need me to do?”

“I’ve poured out the tea, yours is on the fridge, and could you sort some music.”

“Live or recorded,”

“Live with your guitar, please.” I pull the guitar case out from under the bed, open it and take out the guitar, tuner and capo. I start to tune for a low D.

“I thought you said you didn’t have to tune it.”

“There are some songs that require a change in tuning, I am only retuning one string, the lowest one,” once done I put the capo on the second fret to get the chords into my comfort zone.

“This is a song from the nineteen seventies, written and originally performed by Nilsson It is a bit of a tear jerker, called Without You, but I am used to it now.

No, I can't forget this evening

Or your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows

Yes, it shows

No, I can't forget tomorrow

When I think of all my sorrows

When I had you there but then I let you go

And now it's only fair that I should let you know

What you should know

I can't live if living is without you

I can't live, I can't give any more

Can't live if living is without you

I can't give, I can't give any more

No, I can't forget this evening

Or your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows

Yes, it shows

Can't live if living is without you

I can't live, I can't give anymore

I can't live if living is without you

Can't live, I can't give anymore, Oh No.

“What do you think love, does it make you a bit misty eyed?” Jenny turns towards me and the tears are rolling down her face, she holds her arms out to me for a cuddle, I quickly take off my guitar and go to her, as she leans into me with her face into my neck and her head on my shoulder, she says.

“That is the most beautiful love song I think I have ever heard, did you sing it especially for me?”

“No, I sang it for us; it is a bit moving isn’t it?” We lean together cuddling for a few more seconds.

“Please don’t play that in public with me, I know I will just cry,”

“The best cure for that is to keep singing it, the intensity decreases the more familiar you become with the emotions it provokes.”

“I don’t want to reduce its emotional value: you sang it for us.”

We kiss and again the temperature soars. I break the kiss gently.

“I hate to keep breaking our kisses like this, but we have to have some control of our passions, I love you and I never want to lose you, but I don’t want us to be a sky rocket, a sudden brilliance then a long fall to earth, that, I could not handle, to lose a love twice in a year would kill me.”

“You are probably right, I don’t have the experience that you have, you have found, loved and lost and I have only just found out what love might become. What it might mean for me, us and the future, I don’t know, and it scares me so much, please hold me safe for a little while. We stand and sway in time with a song we can’t hear, and break again.

“I must get some food in us both; we are both running on alcohol and emotions. Please play something for me, but please, something happy, or at least not sad like Without You,” I down my mug of tea and ask for a top up, Jenny nods yes.

“Ok, The Hiring Fair by Ralph McTell,” I have to retune back to the normal low E and start the introduction, then

“Well, I went down to the hiring fair for to sell my labour.

I noticed a maid in the very next row and I hoped she'd be my neighbour.

Imagine then my delight when the farmer picked us both.

I spoke not a word on the cart to the farm, but my heart beat in my throat.

Well, my lodgings were dry and my master fair and I gave him full measure.

But my envy grew like the corn in the field, for in his house was my treasure.

I'd watch her carry water or drive cows from the byre,

And the heat from the sun made the corn grow strong, and with it my desire.

Well, I'd see her in my dreaming, and in my dreams caress

Her eyes, her lips, and her dark brown hair, the curves beneath her dress.

When harvest time it came at last, so heavy was the task,

That the women and the men worked side by side, and I had her near at last.

So I swung harder with my scythe. Few words between us passed.

And I cursed my tongue-tied youthfulness and hoped that she'd hear my heart.

When all was safely gathered in, and we sat down to rest,

My trembling fingers touched her arm and she placed them on her breast.

And then she turned to me as the sun went down, and all my senses reeled,

As we lay there on the scented ground and the moon rose over the field. Hmmm....

Well she was safely gathered in my arms when from the barn

Drifted the sound of a violin and we hurried back to the farm.

And all were dancing in the lantern light and music filled the air,

And I thanked my stars for the harvest moon and the girl from the hiring fair.

“That’s a lot happier, a very good story, who is it by.”

“Ralph Mc Tell”

“I will need a hand in a few minutes please.” I put my guitar on the bed next to its hard case.

“Assistant chef reporting for duty ma’am.”

“Give me a quick cuddle, then dice this onion, open the chick peas, and try to find way to crush the spices, I couldn’t find a pestle and mortar.”

I come up behind her and placing my arms around her nuzzle into her neck, as she starts to turn to me, I keep her facing front,

“I am here to work, please don’t distract the workforce, or we won’t be going out tonight”

“I forgot that, can you put A Reason for It All on please,” I comply, putting it on repeat. I go into the toilet, wash my hands and come out to help. Jenny isn’t using the chopping board so I get on my knees, to get it from the cupboard, while I am down there I kiss her above the knee, she puts on a wiggle to get away, so I do it again, and then get up again, getting a kitchen knife, from the draw and ask how fine a dice do you need.

“Centimetre or thereabouts, please.” It’s the work of a minute to reduce the onion to a heap of dice, the can of chick peas lasts no longer, “do I discard the brine?” “Yes please.” “What spices need the treatment” “I’ve put them in the small glass on the fridge.” Coriander, fennel and cumin, by the look of it. Teaspoon in a table spoon is about all I have to do the crushing, taking a little at a time I do my best, some aren’t crushed, just bruised a bit, “All done, next job?”

“Do you have any gloves, I need this chilli deseeded and finely chopped. I’ve hurt myself before doing this and I’m not taking a chance on doing it again”

“Sorry, no gloves, I’ll do it,” Using one of the containers plastic skin, I am able to do the job without touching it I place it in the opposite corner of the board to the onion.

“Just going to wash my hands, again in case I have some chilli juice on them,”

“Washing doesn’t work,”

“If you use food oil or hand lotion or even dairy cream first, then soap is pretty effective,”

“Is that why milk will cool your mouth, but ice cold lager doesn’t.”

“Yes, the chemical that gives the heat is fat soluble, so fats and oils will move it, Water is totally ineffective.”

“Once the dishes go in the oven we have fifteen minutes, until its ready. Do you fancy having a go at the song?” Jenny nods.

I get the song book out and give it to Jenny, and I take a page out of my loose leaf binder for myself I stop the sound system, the original song is in the wrong key, we need to raise it by a couple of tones. I turn and pick up my guitar, placing the capo at the second fret I finger pick G C D7 G I begin with the bass line,

Summer's smiling on the city, it’s another lovely day in Sydney,

Sunshine pouring down like honey in a golden waterfall.....

We both sing the last verse, a bit of a fluff on the second line but we get it together for,

..... A man can go crazy if he keeps asking why.

That's just how it is; don't look for a reason in it all.

“I enjoyed that, fancy doing it again?” I ask, Jenny bends over to look at dinner in the oven, my temperature increases a couple of degrees or so, and I continue,

“I know for definite now you own no shortish skirts, you wouldn’t keep bending over like that if you were used to them!” She suddenly bends at the knee and straightens her back,

“I don’t know which cheeks were blushing most.” I finish. As she gets up she turns to face me and gives me a gentle stroke on the cheek,

“You had better be careful, that could have been a slap, not a caress.” And she winks.

“Yes we’ll do it again, One two three,” and off I go again with the bass. Before the last verse I motion Jenny to turn and I turn to face her as we sing the last verse together. We are both a bit misty eyed at the end.

“I know Ken and the rest won’t believe you never heard that song before today, how can we convince them?”

“That’s easy, just tell them, they say you can’t lie, I know you can’t. They will believe you, as they wouldn’t me. The food will be ready in a couple of minutes, can you down your tea and get the table ready,”

“Of course love, would you like a candle lit dinner, well, tea lights in coloured glasses.?”

“Naturally, and a couple of wine glasses, please”

“It will only be boxed wine that’s all I have.”

“I ordered a bottle from the supermarket; I will open it in a minute to let it breathe.”

“Could you try to educate me a bit in the art, question mark, of wine appreciation?”

“Of course, you didn’t think I was going to miss the opportunity to display the only talent I think I have?”

“If this poor old brain of mine could think of a decent but saucy reply to that it would have, so I will settle for saying that dinner smells great, and you probably have lots of abilities I haven’t even thought of so far.” I load up my only tray with cutlery, trivet type things for hot dishes, tea lights and glasses, laying the table takes but a minute, as I go back into the van to get a couple of square cushions, Jenny is getting the tuna out of the oven, it really smells good, maybe I am turning into a bit of a foodie, stranger thing have happened this weekend. As I exit the van with the cushions the pasta comes out. If we are eating that lot, I won’t be moving far or fast this evening, I put one cushion on each of our chairs, it helps by lifting you a couple of inches, and making the whole meal much more comfortable.

“Sit.” I am ordered. I do so, and Jenny puts the pasta bake on the trivet, returns into the van and brings the tuna steaks out plated up, she puts them in place on the table, and leans into the van to reach the wine bottle, her legs look stunning, long and athletic, as she stretches out, if, as she says, she doesn’t do sport then she must go up lots of stairs to give her legs the definition and shape they have, I daren’t make even a compliment as she returns to the table.

“Come on then dig in,” I am told, “Ladies first,” I reply. “Such a gentleman, thank you.” No serving spoons so it’s a ladle job, Jenny take a ladle full; I take a ladle load that should be more than enough for me. As I start in Jenny pours an inch or so of wine into each of our glasses,

“Sorry, is it a clanger to eat before the wine is poured.” “No eat on, I am famished, you must be the same, with that we both start eating at a steady pace, by the time the tuna has been eaten and the ladle of pasta bake gone the same way I am feeling very full, and we haven’t eaten half the pasta. “Thank you, so very much, that was really something, I haven’t eaten like that before in my life, you might convert me into becoming a foodie.” Jenny finishes soon after me, and leans back in her chair, as she leans back the strappy top stretches over her breasts, I see the outline of her nipples, small, out thrust and oh so tempting, and I could easily make space for them for afters. As I am watching her Jenny lets loose a most unladylike burp, mortified she says,

“Oh, pardon me; I shouldn't have rushed my food so much.”

“Don’t worry, in some cultures you are considered rude if you don’t appreciate good food with a burp, in others it is rude to clear your plate, it means the host hasn’t fed you properly, but to change the subject completely without a trace of tact, when can you start my wine appreciation class.”

“Ok, I’m no teacher, I can point you in the direction but you have to do the work, we can start now, first pick up the glass and look at the colour, it’s not plain red is it? Do you see the purple tinge? Different wines are made from different varieties and combinations of varieties, which change the hue of the wine. Now holding the glass give it a swirl so that the wine coats the surface of the glass, lift it to the light look where the wine swirled to, the curtains that form as the wine runs back are an indication of the body and alcoholic content of the wine, with me so far.” “Yes, no problems so far.” “Well then do it.” I comply like a good little student.

“Next our noses tell us more, in with the nose, not a big sniff but little ones and often, that tells you a lot more, you are smelling for floral, fruit and spice, next swirl the glass this mixes the wine and may release new aromas note the differences, as a beginner you probably won’t be able to pick out any individual spices but with practice and patience you will soon be able to sort a trace of nutmeg from cinnamon.”

“Finally we get to taste the wine, the nose can detect thousands of scents, and different parts of the tongue register different tastes. The sides spot acidity or sourness, while bitterness is detected at the back. The central tip is receptive to sweetness and on either side of it are the salt detectors, Tannins are detected in the cheeks. Take a sip, swing it around in your mouth, does one particular element overpower the others, Go on then your turn.” This is good stuff, I knew a bit before about oak aged wine, and vanilla flavours but I am picking up a lot more by holding it, I smell different things now, is it because the wine warms in the mouth?

“I never noticed all that goes on in a sip of wine”

“Next slurp some like you would a too hot cup of tea, it gets some oxygen into it that will change the balance, ask the same questions. What do you think now?

“This is complicated, It would take an age to learn it all.”

“You can never learn it all, no two bottles of wine from different locations or the same location and different years will be the same, so every year is different as are the wines.”

“That’s it, encourage me.”

“Never mind love, if it was easy, we’d all be experts. Let’s just enjoy a drop before I start on the washing up,” Jenny refills the glasses to three quarters full, “cheers sweetheart.” “Cheers to you, Jenny my dear.” I reply.

“What are you thinking about, you are miles away”

“Sorry, when I said ‘Jenny my dear’ it reminded me of another song, Traditional this time, The Lancashire Fusilier.”

“How does that go, can you sing it,

“No, afraid I can’t, it isn’t too difficult it’s just a case of not having the inclination to learn it, and now it wouldn’t be fitting. It’s a parting song; it’s easiest to sum up with the chorus,

‘I’m going for a soldier, Jenny, going cross the rolling sea, they’ve given me a guinea, they say has enlisted me, I’m off to fight in the army, as a Lancashire Fusilier, rolling my Musket in my arms instead of my Jenny dear. It’s on the mp3 player; I’ll find it when we go in.”

“That is another sad one isn’t it, we’ll listen to it when we do the washing up in a little bit” says Jenny.

“Oh no you won’t, I have another job for you, young lady, I want to see how you look in the clothes we bought today.”

“I can’t do that until later, I promise, I will then, when we get back from Blackwater.” “Ok love.” I take another sip of wine, let it warm, as it does I try to sort out the spicy range of smells, I think I have sorted one out, it makes me think of Darcy Spice, a very old variety of apple, best eaten two or three months after picking and as they start to shrivel, I recall that it was named from where it was found, Tolleshunt D’arcy in Essex. I tell Jenny,

“I think I am picking up spice apples, in this.” She smiles at me, and passes the bottle, “read the tasting notes on the label” ‘aromas of small berry fruits black cherries and dark chocolate, smooth and well balanced on the palate with soft tannins’.

“That was very good, having read the notes you might be able to find some more, but it’s not as rewarding as finding them for yourself, that’s why I never read the notes, did this bottle list spiced apples.”

“No, it didn’t.”

“I didn’t find it either, but I don’t think I have ever tasted Darcy Spice apples, so I am not surprised. Right, I think I have enough space in my stomach so that it is safe to start work again. Pass your plate please.” I stretch in my seat to settle dinner down a bit and pass my plate to her. I get myself out of my chair and walk round to her side and give her my hand to help her rise. “Thank you.” She says, and I kiss her as she gets close to me, only a short kiss though, we need to get cleared away.

We go into the van and I move the bulk of the washing up onto the fridge while the hot water is coming through, once it’s warm I start to fill the bowl and add a squirt of washing up liquid, while this is happening, Jenny comes behind me and holds me round the hips and turns us in a quarter circle, manoeuvring

herself in front of the sink and me by the draining board.

“I’ll wash, you can wipe and put away, I can’t remember where I found half this lot.”

“Fair enough, what shall I do with the pasta while I’m waiting for you to get a head start?

“I didn’t check but will it fit in the fridge, I have plans for that tomorrow for our evening meal?” I bring it in from the awning and after rearranging the breakfast stuff of which there seems to more of than we had left this morning the dish slides in a treat, I knew it would, I measured before we bought it. I bring our wine glasses in, and offer Jenny a sip from her glass, “thank you, love.”After the bulk of the washing up is done, I have to clear the clean dry items from the top of the fridge and put them away, this necessitates me getting on my knees near her legs again, getting bolder I kiss the back of her legs at her hem line, she wiggles and pushes back to me so I repeat the kiss with a bit of a gentle blow at the end, I reach with my right hand and stroke her thigh, lifting her hem by another couple of inches, I kiss the newly exposed skin and then move away to do what I was supposed to be doing, putting the pans away. I manage to leave Jenny alone while we finish clearing up, and when all is done, I remember that I was supposed to find Lancashire Fusilier, I do that and we lay on the bed together just holding each other, when the song comes to the last chorus she looks at me and says,

“Where do you find all these marvellous songs, I know I’ve said it before, but I didn’t know this sort of thing existed.”

“I don’t find them, the artists find and arrange the songs, some of them may have been written four hundred years ago, the language doesn’t fit nowadays and it is reworked into a form that makes sense now, those songs are then credited as Trad. Arr. Someone. But that isn’t what you meant was it? When I go to a festival, I might be walking along and hear some live music that interests me, I’ll go in listen for a bit, if half the songs they do interest me, I will buy a CD if they have some for sale, if not I will go on their mailing list and then try to find out more when I get home. Probably half the CDs on that player were bought that way. I don’t know about you but I am getting ever so comfortable here, shall we shift ourselves and go to Blackwater”

“I suppose we should, we can cuddle when we get back later, and what will we be taking with us? Can we finish the wine first?”


“I don’t want to sound mean, but that bottle wasn’t cheap, I bought it for us, we should enjoy it,”

“Fair enough, as an experienced wine drinker, in your opinion will it keep for an hour or so till we get back?

“Definitely, a couple of hours would be ok, if you can get the cork back in.”

“No problem, but I might be able to do better than that, would the wine be better off in a bottle filled with carbon dioxide.”

“Definitely, far safer, how can you do that?”

“Last year I took a pressure barrel of home brew to Tenterden, and as the beer is drawn off, it is best to fill the ullage with an inert gas, brewers normally use carbon dioxide as is produced by fermentation, I have the bottle of gas I used, it’s in the front locker, I can blow some into the bottle before I re-cork it, back in a couple of minutes.” I go to the front of the van and get the gas bottle from the locker, I give the wine a ten second blow from the gas bottle to do the job and I push the cork part way in.

“We won’t be that long, probably one round of singing, and a fair bit of talking; mainly about us I should imagine. We can make our excuses before ten and get back here.”

“Thank you for that, I know that the social side of Morris dancing is important, especially for you this year, but I need time with you as well.”

“The correct terminology is ‘the social side of the Morris is important’, but not as important as our time together is to me.”

“To repeat my original question, what will we take with us?”

“Coat, sweater or cardi for coming home in, two chairs, song books and our glasses, that should be all, unless you can think of anything else.”

“That sounds about right, I’ll take the important stuff, the wine, and the rest is down to you.”

“Thanks, love. I will manage ok.”

Chapter Nine


We arrive at Ken’s van, call the traditional greeting, “Knock, knock, permission to come aboard.”

“All lovebirds may freely enter.” Comes from Sue inside the Van, we leave our stuff in the awning, Come in, we’ll all go out when the rest turn up, inside the van it is almost luxurious, a far higher level of trim than my van, with a fixed double bed at the back and a shower/toilet amidships opposite the kitchen, and two single beds at the front. Jenny hands me her wine to hold whilst she slides into the seat by the table once in she takes both glasses to hold steady on the table as I slide in. Once I am in she leans towards me and I raise my arm to hold her close, I look to her and we kiss.

“I don’t like to disturb you but would you like a top up, Jenny covers the top of our glasses, “not at the moment thanks, when we have finished these quite probably yes, thank you.”

“Did you get something for dinner from the shop, what did you settle for?” Jenny replies.

“There wasn’t anything in there to make a decent meal out of, so I ordered some supplies on line and had them delivered to the car park, we signed for them and it was easy from there, Frank’s cooker is easy to work with so we had a very good candlelit dinner with a decent bottle of wine, that’s why I covered our wines, I know this one well, and so I am guiding him through a tasting. Would you care to join in, you can do it with yours, where is Ken, he can join in as well.

“He’s in the washroom, be out in a minute, I’ll give him a nudge.” Sue moves to the door,

”Wakey, wakey Ken we have guests.”

“Be out in a second.”

After about twenty of them he comes out, and sees the three of us sat at the table with a half glass of wine in front of each of us and one poured for him, next to Sue. “Come on pet, sit down, we are going to learn something tonight. As Ken sits down he goes to pick up his glass.

“Not yet pet. Wait for orders”

“Not orders, First everyone pick up your glass angle it away from you look at the colour of the wine, you get best results over white paper, ours has a purplish tinge to the colour, is it totally free of haze or cloudiness, look at yours now,,,,,,,,,next, lift the glass to the light and give it a swirl, as the wine runs back down the glass, it forms curtains, the colour and thickness of the curtains give an indication of body and alcoholic content. I know this seems a bit boring but bear with it, soon it will be getting more interesting, lift the glass get your nose in there and sniff, not a long one, lots of little ones, you are trying to detect flowers, fruit and spice, Frank, anything new since you last tried.”

“I’m getting more of the spices but nothing I can name.”

“How about you Sue, I don’t know your wine so what are you getting.”

“Fruit, don’t know if it’s blackberry or raspberry, it smells sort of tart, acidic if you can smell acid.

“Ken your turn,” “I don’t know if I can do this, what if I’m wrong,” said Ken.

“You can’t be wrong, If you smell cloves, honeysuckle or oranges, that’s what you smell, that’s what that wine has for you; earlier when Frank was sniffing he got Darcy Spice apples, I wouldn’t know one of those if it jumped up and bit me, if it’s there for him it’s there. Come on Ken give it a go, close your eyes if it helps.”

With eyes closed ken lifts his glass and has a few sniffs, “Ajax and bowl cleanser”

“No don’t hit me, it is Elderberry, an Easter smell, the spice in a hot cross bun and ..... no, it’s gone,”

“Ok everyone, now swirl your glass to agitate the wine and repeat the exercise, noting the differences, Frank you first.” I swirl again and sniff half dozen times, “Geraniums, would I be getting geraniums? Jenny”

“If you are getting geraniums, that’s what you are getting, it isn’t unusual.” “Sue?”

“No change that I can identify, but I can pick up the spice that Ken mentioned.” Ken swirls and sniffs without being prompted.

“Sorry, nothing new this time.”

“Next we all take a sip, swill it around your mouth and hold it in till it’s your turn, Ken, reverse order, what did you find.” There is a call from the awning, “hello, can we come in?”

“Saved by visitors” says Ken,”come in, be there in a minute, everybody out. We go out into the awning, and settle in to the same places as the night before except Harry and Val are running late. Jenny and I look at each other and salute each other with our glasses and take a sip, every time I do this I pick up something I hadn’t noticed before, but don’t have the experience or vocabulary to express it, this is fascinating but very frustrating. “No theme tonight, and we aren’t going round, it’s by age, youngest first.

“That, I think means me”, Says Lisa “I’m a teenager still,” and that’s all I’m saying. She then leans over to the side and pulls her wooden whistle out of her bag, last night she played Jigs and reels, Tonight she plays a medley of traditional Morris tunes, but at such a speed that probably no one could dance to it, I recognise Worcester hornpipe, Navvie on the line, Albert Farmers bonfire, Speed the plough, Uncle Bernard’s Polka, and Mucky Porter. This gets a good round of applause. Andy goes next without being prompted, starts to sing,

Only three minutes but I couldn’t get out,

Car boxed in and no one about

I ran through the town,

Got there too late,

The first time I missed a shout......

....Some one was calling, but you just passed by, you just closed your eyes.

That was ‘The Shout’ by Show of Hands, I heard it on a CD called, “Someone was calling” Another round of applause follows. Ken asks, “who’s turn next,” looking directly at Jenny.

“Ok, but I can’t do a solo, Frank is going to do the bottom line and I will do the top”, we pick up the books from the table and rise to our feet, “I have to stand, too much dinner and beer has cut down on air capacity” I explain,

Summer's smiling on the city, it’s another lovely day in Sydney,

Sunshine pouring down like honey in a golden waterfall.....

And we face each other as we sing the duet

......From the moment we're born, we start to die;

A man can go crazy if he keeps asking why.

That's just how it is; don't look for a reason in it all.

A good round of applause follows this, Ken follows with

“You said you couldn’t sing yesterday, to do that song that well you must have been singing for years.”

“I am sorry to disappoint you but the first time I heard that song was in Frank’s van after we left here last night, before I heard it we did sing Drunken Sailor together first, the idea being that we would duet that, but Frank was so pleased with the way we sounded he thought we should try something a little more tricky, going through the mp3 player he found this, we listened it through half a dozen times, then tried to sing along, it was too low for Frank to do the bass, so he sang as a tenor and I screeched along the top. Frank has the song book so he played it a bit higher so he could do bass and I could drop an octave.

“Frank, is this true.” Asks Ken

“Gospel.” I reply.

“Who’s next?” Kath swings her accordion into position and starts playing some folk dance tunes from Scandinavia, it isn’t easy to see the joins, after about four minutes she ends with a fingered slide down the keyboard.

“I reckon it should be my turn, but I have nothing to do, I exhausted my repertoire when I did Cargoes” says Richard.

“Hang on,” I say, as I have a delve in my folder, “read this,”

“Have you got any news of the iceberg? My family were on it you see:

Have you got any news of the iceberg? They mean the whole world to me.

My wife and my ...

When he finishes, I add, “By Less Barker, who’s next, I’ll be a gent Sue, I reckon you are younger than me, Ladies first”

“Thanks for the compliment, I’m doing Mattie Groves, it’s Traditional.”

“A holiday, a holiday, and the first one of the year

Lord Darnell’s wife came into the church,

The gospel for to hear.....

.....But bury my lady at the top for she was of noble kin.”

This gets a round of applause, and a cuddle for her from Ken, “your turn Frank,”

“We will do Drunken Sailor, Ok Jenny?

“What shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.” I harmonise on the wey-heys with long heys. “Wey-hey and up she rises, Wey-hey and up she rises, Wey-hey and up she rises, early in the morning.”

We do all the normal verses and end with “Here she comes, swinging through the rigging.”

“That means it’s round to me,

If ever a winter so cold and so bare

A river to weary to flow.......

.....The storm and the wind cut through to my skin

She cut through to my blood......

Poor Ditching Boy, by Richard Thompson,”

“What happened to Harry and Val tonight” I ask, The consensus is that nobody knows. Kath gets up, “I had better go and check on the children, back in a couple”

“I know you normally go on till getting on for midnight, but Jenny and I are going to make our excuses and get back to the van, it’s been a good day for both of us, but it took a lot of concentration by the pair of us not to let anything slip about us, it was worth the effort though, I hope we didn’t cause any friction in the side as a result. Are you dancing tomorrow or just socialising?

“Off duty day tomorrow.” Ken replies,

“We will have an open awning tomorrow from say ten thirty, then go down from ours later, if anyone wants to, extend the invite to Harry and Val when you see them, ok?” We get our things together, and I unzip the awning just as Kath returns.

“Night night everyone, see you tomorrow” I say,

“Bye, all.” Says Jenny. A chorus of byes and sleep tights follow us out and as I zip up the awning. As we walk back to the van arm in arm, I say “I wonder why Harry and Val didn’t come out tonight”

“I think they may have had a bit of a domestic, did you notice the price tag on the suit that Val bought?


“I am pretty certain it was Twenty five pounds, it was way over priced in my opinion and I think Harry saw the ticket in the carrier bag, he didn’t look too happy after he looked in it anyway.”

“They remove the price tags in the shop, that’s how they balance the till at the end of the day, maybe he just didn’t like her spending or buying without him being there.”

“That’s their problem not ours, let’s get in the warm, I know I should have worn it not carried it! I unzip and allow Jenny in first, then re-zip the awning, I turn on the awning light and unlock the door, once the chairs are up, I follow Jenny into our van and fire up the room heater on medium. We both lay on the bed on our sides facing each other, our arms reach for each other and we cuddle, a gentle, warming kiss soon follows and we are lost in each other until I remember that all the blinds are open, we mustn’t scandalise the neighbours in, breaking the kiss, ‘windows’ I whisper, ‘whoops’ is the whispered reply. We both get on our knees to right the situation by pulling the blinds down and drawing the curtains.

Jenny asks, “Can we finish the wine while I give you your fashion show,”

“Most assuredly my darling, but it’s not just my fashion show, wouldn’t you like to try them, see what they look like on?”

“I suppose so,” Jenny replies with a glint in her eye. I rinse both glasses under the tap and dry them, opening the bottle of wine and pouring a couple of inches into each one I place mine on top of the fridge and pass Jenny hers, she takes a sip with eyes closed, is she checking for changes? Or is she just getting the full taste sensation. I lift my glass and take a sip, hold it and swill, while I count to ten, I can’t tell the difference, but what do I know, as I look to Jenny she opens her eyes and gives me a lovely open smile, ”Is it ok?” I ask.

“I couldn’t tell of any difference at all, you should turn that gas gizmo into a marketable item.” Jenny gets off of the bed to stand beside me, she opens the wardrobe and I can see her shopping on hangers,“

“Right, on the bed with you, what would sir like to see first?” I lay on my side facing her; I turn to sit up with my legs over the edge,

“I am going to save seeing the green dress till last, so would you please show me the grey dress and jacket?” She takes the dress and jacket out of the wardrobe and hangs them both on the wardrobe door. As she starts to take off the coral sweater I turn over to face away from her,

“Am I that ugly?” I turn back towards her,

“Of course not darling, you are one of the most beautiful people I know, but when you have a ticket to a fashion show you don’t get to go behind the catwalk to watch the models change, I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with me looking at you.”

“Do you remember me telling you of the pictures Dad sent from Greece?” I nod the affirmative. “When Erica and I went on holiday together we always went to naturist or clothing optional beaches, I am totally relaxed about people seeing me topless, I am not so comfortable about being nude because collar and cuffs don’t match.” While Jenny is saying this she unzipped her skirt, it stayed on her hips so that the cardigan could be taken off without stretching it, and still holding eye contact she removed her sun top and slid her skirt down over her hips to the floor, with her hands on her hips she does a slow pirouette.

“Do I meet with sir’s approval?” “

“My love, I have not the words to express how I feel about you and how good you look. I could lay here and look for hours and hours, but you are underdressed for a fashion show.” Jenny comes to me on the bed and lies down beside me on her side, facing me,

“We don’t need a fashion show, that was only an excuse for me to get out of my clothes, Hold me please, I need to be cuddled,” I reach my right arm over to rest on her left hip, on her panties,

“I didn’t use the fashion show as a way to get you undressed, honestly darling, I am not like that, but I am very happy to hold you, for as long as you want.” I move my left arm, the one I had been leaning my head on under her head onto her back, gently moving her closer for a kiss, as our lips touch she moves closer and the kiss becomes more passionate, Jenny rolls onto her back and pulls me with her to continue the kiss, this time I move my hand to her breast Jenny flinches so I stop and wait for her to relax before I move my hand to hold the small globe and stroke around it slowly.

As I stroke her the nipple erects and as it does her lips part and her tongue comes out to play, as the kiss continues I move my hand across to the other breast and again Jenny flinches as I go to stroke her nipple, again I wait for her to relax before I eventually get to her nipple and as I stroke it erects against my palm. Jenny sighs into my mouth as both breasts are softly and continuously stroked and as I gently brush the side of my thumb across each nipple and then roll it between thumb and forefinger she becomes more aroused, wriggling against me. As the sensations that are reverberating through her body become more intense her breathing gets faster and shallower, she breaks the kiss and pulls my head down to her breast so I latch onto her right nipple and lash it to and fro with my tongue as I do this she stretches, her thighs clench and I am pushed off her nipple. I think she is coming, I let her enjoy it, just holding her, as her breathing steadies and she turns her face to me, very wet eyed but not crying.

“Oh, my lord, I have never felt anything like that in my life, thank you my love, I was so apprehensive letting you near my breasts because they are very small and I have never come before just by having my boobs played with. I have to do something for you now,” as she say’s this her eyes fill and she starts to cry properly, I get her to turn her body so we are face to face again.

“You don’t have to do anything for me, I am very content just giving to you, to show my love for you in a way that gives us both pleasure, and believe me I got as much enjoyment out of that as you did.”

We lay together, just holding one another. I have never felt like this about anyone before, I loved Lynda, with all my heart and soul, but it didn’t feel like this, I thought I loved Angeline thirty years ago but we didn’t form any sort of permanent relationship; we only ever dated. When I met Lynda I felt I knew true love, it bound us to each other in a truly giving way, neither asked anything of the other, whatever one wanted the other gave freely and as though psychic. It was us forever, and through our children we could go on for evermore. It didn’t come to pass in that way, just as after Angeline I had to start again, and I found another different form of love with Lynda, at the time I felt it was true love, now with the loss of Lynda, I have again found a love, so bright, so alive, so full of hope and promise, that I am beginning to doubt that there can ever be one true love for anyone, but a vast array of different ways of feeling that one true love, and now having found another one, could a man be so blessed as to love three times in a lifetime, with this thought I felt behind me and dragged what duvet I could over us, I was not going to disturb Jenny in order that I could turn the lights or heater off, with these thought I fell asleep with my latest and greatest love safe in my arms. About midnight I was awoken by Jenny trying to get up, we were in such a tangle in the duvet and sleeping bags that we couldn’t disentangle ourselves without both waking up.

“How do you feel love?” I ask.

“I need a drink and get washed and clean my teeth, but apart from that I have never felt so good, thank you love.”

“Cup of tea be ok?”

“Smashing, thank you” I get out of bed, making sure that Jenny is covered and warm and fill the kettle and put it on to boil, while it is heating I go into the bathroom, have a wee then wash and dry the old man, wash my face and clean my teeth, when I come out, I gently rouse Jenny.

“The bathroom is free if you want it; tea will still be a couple of minutes.”

“Thank you treasure,”

“You keep using different terms of endearment, may I ask why,”

“I’m trying to find one that you react to in a positive way, so far nothing has worked.”

“The word that got me almost smiling is not really appropriate.”

“Stop being so secretive, if it’s that bad we can save it for private use.”

“Flower. When we were talking about depression earlier, you said I was a flower for you,”

“Could you handle being called ‘Flower’.”

“By you? Yes of course, I know the context. It will make a lot of people look twice, and listen harder”

“Ok flower,” The kettle starts to whistle, and I make a pot of tea.

“Would you like me to pass you a t-shirt love,”

“What for?” as she rises from the bedding and goes past me to go to the bathroom, in glorious dishabille, I wish I had her confidence; I need a couple of tarpaulins to hide my wobbly bits, her wobbly bits don’t wobble and look fantastic.

I re-gas and re-cork the wine, I can’t see that it will be ok tomorrow but stranger things have happened, Jenny comes out of the bathroom totally nude, she turns to me and asks, “Isn’t this the most horrible colour hair?” She says, pointing at a very neatly trimmed stripe of hair on her pubes.

“That is exactly the colour I saw you with in my mind’s eye, I think it’s beautiful.”

“Don’t start on that!”

“Sorry love, but you asked the question, I am allowed an opinion, and the right to express it, human rights and all that, but I won’t mention it to you again if you don’t want me to.”

“Deal, flower.” I pour out the tea, putting Jenny’s on the fridge as usual, “one sugar, plenty of milk.”

“Thanks Flower, could you do one more thing before we finally settle for the night.

”Of course love, your wish is my greatest pleasure.”

“Would you put the sleeping bags together, I want us to cuddle to sleep, we can’t make love but I trust you completely, you have far more control than I have. I hasten to do her wishes, I fold the duvet and push it to the far left, unzipping both sleeping bags takes no time and zipping them together doesn’t take much longer, the duvet goes on top, and to finish I open out the bolster that I had used folded the night before and take the two pillows I had given Jenny, this makes it into a proper double and with a king size duvet on top we definitely won’t be feeling cold. I down my tea, and switch on the long led light above the bed and switch of the fluorescent light and room heater.

“Have you finished your tea love?”

“Yes, I’m waiting for you to get undressed and into bed and then I will follow,” Oh lordy, lordy, I have to show this picture of loveliness my fifty year old body, with its excessive fat and vast areas of white skin, ‘It’s body confidence, that’s all it is, I tell myself, I accept my body for what it is, if others can’t that’s their problem not mine’. ‘Well here goes’ so I strip off, folding my clothes and placing them on the bottom of the bed to the right, last to go are my pants and I scurry into bed. Jenny follows me in and we lay facing each other, My left hand goes to rest on her hip, Jenny’s right hand comes behind my head and pulls me in for a kiss, a slow, tender lip massage, this lasts a few seconds and after breaking the kiss, she says, “Night, night flower, will you cuddle me, please?”

She turns over and reverses towards me; I place my arm around her waist and pull her closer, after a several seconds or maybe a minute Jenny lifts my hand to her breast, I hold and softly stroke her breast for a few seconds, just enough to erect her nipple then hold her with her nipple between first and second fingers, I snuggle my face into the back of her neck and hair, and as the night before, having the scent of a beautiful, sensual, loving girl close to me I get that totally safe and secure feeling, hello again faeries.....

.... I surface slowly, we have both turned over, Jenny’s hand is gently exploring over my stomach and she is on my navel and heading south, she stops short of my manhood, I wriggle a little to encourage her, and her hand continues south, she stokes from base to tip a couple of times and as I start to firm up, she opens her hand and holds me. Hi again faeries........

When the faeries abandon me it is daylight and I am again holding her breast as before with her nipple between my fingers, as I kiss her hair she stirs and turns onto her back, my hand moves across to her other breast holding it in the same way. Without me moving my hand at all I feel her nipple stiffen, I continue to hold and stroke her breasts as before, Jenny’s hand goes exploring, and finding what she is looking for, just holds and squeezes me rhythmically. I move my hand down from her breast to her pubes, I stroke downwards lift off and up and stroke downward again, I stroke in time with her squeezing of me, I can stand what Jenny’s doing to me for ages but I think that Jenny is close to coming, her legs are slightly parted, should I go exploring? Maybe a little way, or maybe not, Jenny again pushes my head down to her breast, I lick then suckle like a starving babe at her left breast, my right hand moves from her pubes back to her right breast, I stroke all around and across her nipple, as she climaxes I continue to waggle my finger tip to flick her nipple to drive her higher, and then stop, merely holding her with my hand held static. We lay like this for a minute as Jenny’s breathing returns to normal, she opens her eyes and gives me really open smile,

“Can I have another one please? I wasn’t awake for the start of that one.” I turn my head to her and start a gentle round of kissing as my hand starts to play with her breasts, I am a boob man, I love kissing, stroking, tweaking, and suckling on them, I love seeing the responses that this causes as the temperature of our kissing increases, Jenny again goes exploring, this time she does stroke me, but so lightly it’s like butterflies fluttering against it, not that butterflies ever have fluttered against him! in no time at all Jenny is moving, rolling her hips and bust, lifting them, seeking more pressure, I don’t want to torment her by making her wait, so I work a little bit harder and bring her higher, again my head is pushed down to her breast, it’s nice knowing a lady who knows what she wants, I again place my mouth on her breast, and go straight for a tongue lashing of her nipple. Talk about lighting the blue touch paper, Jenny most definitely is not retiring, and this time as she comes, I continue to rub her nipples to drive her higher, and then ever so softly stroke and tap, just like the proverbial butterflies dancing as she relaxes.

“Thank you so very much for that, I now know what I have been missing for years, it isn’t the same as DIY. I must give some pleasure to you; I will get some condoms later, I don’t want to get pregnant yet.” That phrase is like a knife in my chest, she must feel me tense, I know why, when do I tell her? I have never loved like this before, I am convinced we have a future, but what do I do?

“What’s wrong flower, I felt you flinch, tell me please?”

“I am sorry love, but we need to have a very serious talk, we know we love each other, probably more than we have ever loved before. I don’t think this is the time or place for it, Please cuddle me, I need to feel you holding me, loving me.” We lay together, holding, stroking and kissing slowly, we may have lain together like that for ten minutes, “How are you this morning, love?” I ask.

“Worried” is Jenny’s reply, “when I mentioned getting condoms you really- I don’t know, jumped as though something was wrong”

“Are you awake enough for a proper talk or would you prefer to wait till later.”

“I want, no I need, to know now why did me mentioning condoms upset you.”

“It isn’t condoms that upset me, and it may take a little while, not long to explain. I suppose I should first say again that it wasn’t condoms that I reacted to; it was the next phrase, ‘I don’t want to get pregnant yet’, that ‘yet’ hit me, hard. If or when we are married, I can’t give you any children, when Lynda and I had had our self imposed quota of children we decided to have no more, we were after all married for life and it is simpler by far to sterilize a male so I had a vasectomy, I am so sorry darling, but after nearly sixteen years the chances of reversal succeeding are very slim and as selfish as it may sound, I could be shoving seventy when our children are in their teens.”

“Flower, my precious darling, children aren’t important to me, I used ‘yet’ as a delaying tactic, I don’t want to have children while I am building my business and securing our future. I can’t take Lynda’s place for you or your children, but I can make my own place in theirs, and their children’s lives, it could be an interesting experience, being a gran, without being a mum first.”

“My love, is this what you really want, or are you trying to be kind to this old man”

“You are not old, Trust me Flower, I do not have a problem with you firing blanks, that is the phrase isn’t it. It also means we don’t have to worry about condoms. I think I might really enjoy our future together.” We lay together, my arm round Jenny’ shoulder and her head resting on my chest, we doze for a while........

Part Two

Chapter Ten

On the Third Day

i. Morning

“Jenny, my treasure, I think I had better start to shift myself, I am so comfy here holding you and cuddling but I did tell Blackwater we would be having an open awning this morning, and I wasn’t intending to be serving breakfast when they arrived, it must be getting on a bit now, would you like a mug of tea.”

“Yes please,”

“Breakfast in half an hour, is that ok love?”

I start to climb out of the bed, doing my best not to cause too much of a draught for Jenny, once I am out and kneeling beside her she lifts herself and places a kiss on the tip of my manhood, it twitches in response, ”did I cause that?” she asks. “Yes” I reply.

“I’ve just seen that you are shaved, can I ask why?”

“Lynda and I preferred to be baldies, I shall long remember how she shrieked and cried the first time she tried waxing her puss, that was the only time she ever swore at me when she heard me laughing, I didn’t help my case when I told her it wouldn’t have hurt so much if she had followed the instructions on the kit, or when I offered to put some after-shave on it! She had tried a racing stripe or landing strip before but being a blonde, it wasn’t really visible, being bald made oral so much nicer and a lot more fun.” At this Jenny colours up bright red.

“Sorry love, is it a bit early for sex-ed classes for you.”

“I will have to get a pair of L plates, I haven’t passed basic yet and you are talking about “A” level sex”

“You won’t look at your sausages this morning in the same light will you?”

“Stop it please darling.”

“Of course love, give me a kiss and I will start breakfast.” The kiss lasts longer than I planned, well, her left boob popped out to say hello, and I had to give it a hello kiss, a long hello kiss, then back to Jenny’s face for another kiss. I finally leave the bed, put some clothes on and have a toilet break and wash my hands, it is nine o’clock before I get the kettle on,

“Still half an hour to breakfast, is it the same as yesterday for you, love?”

“Yes please, and could I have an egg with it please, there are half a dozen in the fridge,”

“Certainly, how would you like it fried, stir fried, scrambled, boiled or poached?”

“Soft fried please flower, white just set.”

“Ughhh, I reply, you might have to supervise me for that.” I go onto auto pilot again to prepare breakfast for us, I open the fridge and there is a lot more food in there than I expected, I should have run out of all the breakfast components this morning, as I couldn’t have planned on feeding two of us.

“Thank you for restocking the fridge love; I was wondering where to get tomorrows breakfast bits from.”

“No problem, flower, I was glad to be able to do something for us.” Once I have a free moment I turn on the radio and tune to Radio 2 for Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs, we always listened to this when we were away, mustn’t get tearful, just listen and keep focused on the cooking, I start the mental exercises I was given to focus the thoughts into positive channels, it’s a pity these exercises, don’t work for depression, maybe they do, if they did I hate to imagine what the last seven months would have been like without them. Stop it. Think flowers, think Jenny, think our children, Sarah & Robert, imagine Sarah, her step-mum not five years older, she would be in seventh heaven, an elder sister in effect to learn from, just as Jenny learnt from Erica. The kettle whistle interrupts my chain of thought, I make a full pot of tea and add another couple of mugs of water to the kettle and put it on to boil again. Turn the sausages, the black pudding and the hash browns; pour our mugs of tea out,

“Jenny love, would you like extra milk in this mug to cool it a bit?”

“Yes please,” I double up on the milk, and place hers on the fridge.

“Teas up.”

“Thanks flower.” The kettle boils again,’ thank heavens for that’ I think ‘it frees up a ring’ I top up the tea pot and put another tea bag in, the kettle goes on the floor and the ten inch, deep fry pan goes on a front ring to pre-heat for putting cooked items in. Final turn for the hash browns and the black pudding, sausages go in the ten inch, and bacon goes in the sausage pan, I think it is time to encourage Jenny out of bed, how? soft and gently with a nuzzle at her neck and a kiss, or strip the bed and blow a raspberry on any interesting pieces or bare flesh, “Jenny love, five seconds, four, three, two, one, Off comes the duvet, I blow a raspberry, right on her tummy button, there is a fairly loud eeek! And I get belted with a pillow.

“Time to get up love, breakfast soon, you haven’t touched your tea and I will need supervision for your egg soon,” I get off the bed and return to the cooker, I tip the water away from the bacon and turn the wick up then transfer the hash browns and black pudding to the ten inch, I go back to the bed again and this time as I approach her tummy, she grabs me round the neck and blows a raspberry on my neck. “I’d love to have a cuddle fight darling but things are going to start burning soon and it won’t be just me that’s running hot, would you like a t-shirt.”

“Yes please flower and a fresh cup of tea would be nice.” I turn all the rings off and then go for a search in the wardrobe, about three down is a Hobgoblin lagerboy t-shirt, that will do a treat.

“Here you go treasure,”

“Come here flower, I need a kiss and a cuddle to motivate me.” I go to the bed and lie beside her, Jenny has got herself back under the duvet and sleeping bag, and is as snug as the proverbial bug in a rug, I decide to motivate her in a most surprising way, if I can get away with it, I can see she is drifting or pretending to drift again, I sneak into my side of the bed, and burrow down slowly, if I can get anywhere near her sex, I hope to kiss her awake, I may hear another loud eeek! And get belted by a pillow or fist, but as they say no pain, no gain. I am halfway down the sleeping bag close to the fold between leg and torso, a few more inches, I am just above her pussy, do I dive in with a raspberry or sneak in and give puss a kiss, softly softly, I am above her puss, I stick my tongue out and move toward her centre, as soon as my tongue enters her slit there is a loud sigh and Jenny’s hands push me into her, a little more penetration and the eeek! rings in my ears. I surface and give her a gentle kiss.

“Was that nice, my love?”

“I could easily get to like it.”

“How do you feel about a cold cooked breakfast?”

“No thanks”

“I am sorry to say that I turned all the rings off at least two minutes ago, how do you suggest I evict a little bed monster from its pit, ahh, I remember, bed monsters are very ticklish, especially on the feet and under the arms, insy wincy spider, oh look the bed monster has arisen. Hello treasure, I love you so much.” And I kiss her forehead and eyes then her lips. I leave the bed and restart the breakfast, with a bit of luck I should be able to make it edible at least, ten inch on low to medium, bacon on high, small pan on high with a tablespoon of oil in for Jenny’s egg, “Your egg is going in now” I say as I crack the egg “would you like me to carry you into the awning for your breakfast” and I open the door to emphasise the point.

“Ok, I give up, close the door please so I can put a t-shirt on.” I close the door and Jenny comes to me nude and glorious, I feel a tear forming in my eyes, how can the gods put so much beauty in such a small packet? I drop to my knees and kiss her tummy and then arise and tend to her egg, Jenny turns to pick up the t-shirt and yelps,

“You could have told me it is nearly ten o’clock”

“Would you have listened, my treasure?”

“You are to blame, giving me two gorgeous orgasms before breakfast has made me very relaxed and sleepy.” Again I turn all the rings off get two plates and start to plate up, that done I pour two mugs of slightly stewed tea and open the door, Jenny moves towards the door and I am about to give way to her then whisper;

“Are you wearing any panties yet,” This time the hem nearly makes it down to knee level before she dashes out of the doorway onto the bed.

Going into the top draw she gets a pair of white panties out and puts them on. “I think you are being really horrible to me this morning, letting me nearly go out in just a very short t-shirt.” I just chuckle and remind her;

“Congealed breakfast if you don’t hurry” within a minute we are tucking in, before ten minutes have passed the plates are cleared and we both stretch in contented silence for a couple of minutes;

“Stay there for a moment please; I want to get my camera.” I practically run into the caravan, grab camera and flashgun, and am sitting down again, I have to lean a few inches to my left, wait for the gun to charge, and ‘flash’ one done, change a setting, ’flash’ another one, change again, ‘flash’ a third time, that should do, no, one more, back-lit setting, flash on “smile please treasure,” on the ‘treasure’ I snap, ’flash’ done. And within a few more seconds the random reflections of sunlight from mirrors, windows or solar panels had gone. One of these pictures would be blown up to A2 or bigger and framed; if only I had my laptop here I could have shown her. Jenny’s hair was in total disarray, she hadn’t brushed or combed it, the reflection of the sunlight from one of the surfaces had given the light a ruddy tinge and as Jenny was being lit from behind, it appeared as though she had a halo about her face, the flash in at least one of the pictures should have illuminated her face without dimming the halo, If one of the pictures was close, Photoshop could perfect it. I have a look at all the images, and select the best, that’s the one I’ll use, I select a runner up and then have a fiddle with the camera, resizing the image, changing contrast, and so on, save the image and put the camera down.

“Don’t I get to have a look?” Jenny asks,

“Of course love, once we go in the van, it’s too bright out here to see the screen properly, do you fancy a decent cup of tea love, that last one was stewed”

“Yes please my flower, I had better get into some clothes before everybody comes up here”

“Ok love, I will start on the washing up, If you would care to get washed and dressed first, then I will follow after.” Jenny goes into the van and I show her the picture I had played with.

“Wow, is that me, it makes look like a glossy model, I know the camera doesn’t lie, but you are making it tell a lot of half truths aren’t you?”

“No, not at all love, what you see is what was there; all I can do to the picture in the camera is resize, zoom and change the colour balance.” First on my list is to put on a kettle of water for a brew and turn off the water heater, the heater is showing a red light, pooh, probably ran out of gas, try to light a ring, nothing. I tap on the bathroom door and tell Jenny, the water may not be hot; I am going to change the gas bottle, back in a minute.

“Ok my flower” as I leave the awning I give Tribal a wave, they are getting kitted up to go down to town, If Michael works them until four o’clock, they won’t be running up the hill later! At the front of the van I change over the gas regulator to the other bottle, lockup and go back in. “All done love, don’t come out for a moment, I have to fire up the fridge.” Once the fridge is on I get up and put the kettle on;

“Ok to come out love,”

“Do we have visitors yet?” Jenny asks. I look out of the door and then reply,

“All clear love,” Jenny comes out of the bathroom bare, I know I shouldn’t look, but the more I see of Jenny’s pubes the more I like the colour.” That feels better, I had a good strip wash and dry, I would have liked to have washed my hair as well but it takes an age to dry.

“What would you like to see me to wearing today my flower?”

“I like what you’re wearing now,” I turn towards her and hold her round her waist, I tip my head forward and kiss her gently and long, after a few seconds Jenny’s arms go round my neck and her tongue comes out to play, I would like to play for longer, but time must be getting on.

“I am sorry to spoil the fun love but we may have guests soon.”

“That’s ok my flower, I will stay like this, if I look so good.” Jenny sits on the bed, I kneel in front of her and looking her in the eye,

“I would gladly see you like this all day, but I don’t want to share your beauty with anyone”. I bend slightly to get level with her boobs, I kiss one then the other, and bending over further I blow a kiss in the general direction of her puss. “You choose what to wear darling, from what we bought and I know you will look good.” I must start the washing up love, and then have a wash and get changed. Jenny puts my Hobgoblin Lagerboy t-shirt back on and after taking another pair of panties from the top draw, puts on the short green skirt;

“Could you do your trick with a bandana again please?”

“Give me a couple of minutes please love, once the washing up is done I can leave them to drain for a bit.” Just the last pan to wipe out and I’m done.

“Ok love, Let’s look at you, I go to the wardrobe and get all my bandanas, I need a reddish hued one, This will do a treat, I fold it as before and drop to my knees in front of Jenny and reaching round her place the bandana around her hips and tie it on her left hip I arrange the t-shirt and its artwork, I stand up and look at her, I have done better, “I’m going to try something different,” I take off the bandana and fold it differently to resemble a narrow diamond, this I tie in the same way but on the other hip, off my knees and a look, that’s better, I lift it up an inch on the left hip that looks good.

“There you go love, have a look, what do you think?”

“I don’t know how you do it, this looks very good, thank you my flower”

“Thank you love, do I get a kiss as a reward.” Jenny looks up to me and I get a nice lip massage.

“I may have said this before, but I don’t half love you. Now I must do the drying up and then get washed and changed.”

“I’ll do the drying, my flower, you go and wash,”

“Thank you treasure.”

I go into the bathroom and have a strip wash, it’s quicker than normal we are about to run out of water, I am going to taste toothpaste, until I have fetched more water. I come out of the bathroom in a towel, Jenny has just finished putting away. I go to the draw and find some pants, widders t-shirt and light grey trousers from the wardrobe, it’s going to be a warm sunny day according to Michael, and my high gloss, aerodynamic, total lack of hair, style head requires that I wear a bandana, Jenny isn’t going to need a blue bandana, I will use that one. Jenny comes to me for a kiss and a cuddle, as we finish she gives my old man a squeeze,

“I’ll give you a proper cuddle tonight, my flower.”

“Thank you love,I have to get some more water, could you look after Blackwater until I get back.”

“Are you taking the car this time?”

“No love it’s only the aqua roll this time, see you in a little bit.” I go to the front locker for the handle, and disconnect the barrel. It’s a lovely day, the sun has cleared the trees on the other side of the field, the air is beautifully clear, the aircraft leaving London city airport are so easy to see. It is all uphill to the scout tents-they do breakfasts, supply bin bags, issue performer badges and walk around the campsite as a form of low level security- then down to the tap. It takes an age to get all forty litres, but I want a shower tonight. Hauling the water back seems a lot easier this time, on the way back I see Blackbird going down to town followed by Annie’s Fantasies. I get back to the van and reconnect the water supply. I am about to go into the van to hang the keys up, “Hang on flower, just a moment please.” I think to myself,’ I have seen her nude, why so bashful, still, as I have no urgent need to get in the van I might as well wait outside’, it’s pretty warm in the awning so before I leave I start to open the vents to let a bit of air through. As I open the front side vent I see Blackwater approaching, a full set with chairs and fully laden by the looks of it.

“Jenny, guests coming now.”

“Be out in a minute love, do you think they will want some tea?”

“I doubt it.” I unzip the awning as they draw near.

“Welcome to my little den of iniquity, how are we all this morning. Jenny will be out in a moment or three, make yourselves comfy.”

We are just settled nicely, when Jenny calls,

“Is Sue there, can she come in please?” Sue gets up and gives me a ‘what’s going on look’ all I can do is shrug my shoulders and lift my eye brows, ‘as if I’m supposed to know’.

I hear giggles from in the van, Ken looks at me, I look back with another shrug, “I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, Jenny was in the van when I left on the water run, and I don’t think she has been out since. Anyone fancy a beer to be going on with; once the ladies are out of course, you will have the choice of Hen, Hobgoblin or Abbot.” I think it was Hen all round, but I’ll bring out a fair selection when I can get in the van. The door opens and Sue comes out, grinning from ear to ear, staying by the door she announces, in her best posh voice.

“My lords, Ladies and all that tosh, please be upstanding for our May Queen, – Miss Jennifer Anne Saunders – and Sue stands to one side as Jenny comes out, you could hear the eyes snapping open and the necks creaking as we stretched for a better look. I have said she was beautiful, stunning, and a few other superlatives, but now I can only say I was gobsmacked, Jenny had been making up, doing her hair and nails, and quite a few other things probably, her hair was up, plaited in a Celtic style, her makeup could have been professionally applied ready to go on the front cover of a fashion glossy, and the green monsoon dress looked as though it had been made to measure to the millimetre I thought it would look good, but perfection like that does not come off the peg, and to find it in a charity shop is a once in a lifetime stroke of luck, and with luck like that I must ask her for her lottery numbers.

“As I said before, my treasure, how could they get so much beauty in such a small parcel? Now having seen the dress on, how would your gran’s brooch look on there now, is it too old fashioned?” Her eyes start to fill, “Don’t cry treasure,” I go to her and hold her, and whisper, “I’m sorry love, I didn’t want to upset you, I have never seen anyone as lovely as you today, was this for me, for everybody, or for yourself and your confidence,”

“It was for us, are you pleased with the result?”

“Yes darling, like I said, you are truly beautiful,” To the rest of us I say, “You know it’s all downhill now I will never be able to make her look better than this. So I am going to drown my sorrows, who wants to join me?” Without waiting for an answer I go into the van and pass out a dozen cans, Sue takes the cans and puts them on the table as Jenny takes my seat I bring out our tankards, glasses and the wine that Jenny and I started with our evening meal last night, I ask Jenny,

“What do you reckon, love, drinkable or brush cleaner?”

“Brush cleaner, even with your gas gizmo, it will be horrible”

“ok love, I’ll try it first,” I pull the cork and pour an inch into my glass, I do the full bit, checking colour, bouquet, and taste, there might be a slight edginess to the wine that wasn’t there yesterday, but I think it’s still drinkable.

“You try love,” I pass my glass to Jenny, “cheers my flower” and Jenny takes a few little sniffs, gives me a look, and takes a sip, her eyes open wide, that’s brilliant flower, it’s hardly changed at all.” Sue breaks into the conversation.

“Jenny, can I ask why you call Frank ‘flower’ or ‘my flower’ “

“It’s just our version of love, sweetest, darling etc.”

“But why flower, I can see lots of Mickey taking opportunities with that.”

“I couldn’t find a term of endearment that Frank reacted to in any positive way, so I asked him what he would like me to use, and he picked up on a conversation we had Saturday morning about depression, we have both been there, where all you can see are weeds and Frank said he wanted see some flowers, for me he has been a flower so I told him to look inside himself, he may well see a flower.”

“Pardon me for asking, but you don’t look the type to be a depressive.”

“Oh I‘ve had my moments, Mum was killed when I was ten, all of senior school was a nightmare, I was bullied horribly, Dad died abroad when I was twenty three, not long after Erica, my elder sister got married, I felt deserted, there was no one to talk to, no shoulder to cry on, that was not a good year for me. I thought things had turned a corner when I met up with David, I was normal, and when he asked me away for this weekend, I was so happy, almost walking on air. Then the rug was pulled from under me and I could see it all starting again, I had never heard of Frank’s definition of depression from anyone, but it was so in tune with how I felt, and it showed me a way out. I honestly think Frank saved me.”

“Excuse me please ladies, I need to get my camera, These images needs to be recorded for posterity,” I get past Jenny and Sue and bring camera and flashgun out, Standing by the caravan door I am looking into the light again but the sun is higher, giving a much softer diffuse light through the top of the awning, using the flash at a low power setting should illuminate her face without giving a studio look, I take a couple like this, turn up the flash power, that will mute the background, do another couple.

“That’s enough pictures of me, how about someone taking a couple of us together, please my flower.” Ken volunteers to be cameraman, and he orders the pair of us outside, everybody else follows, Ken has us posing in front of the awning, I am not so keen on this as we are looking towards the sun, I suggest we pose with our backs to the Blackwater end of the field with the sun over our right shoulders, this avoids us squinting, Ken fires off half a dozen quickly then has us move at ninety degrees towards each other, he takes a few more;

“Go on then how about a kiss,”

“No thanks, Ken, you’re not my type,” I riposte, the old ones are always the best. I turn further to face Jenny;

“How do you feel about kissing for a photo?” I soon find out as Jenny again comes up to me placing her arms around my neck, a lip massage rapidly turns into a tongue fight and after less than ten seconds I have to break the kiss.

“Sorry again sweetheart, you were getting me overheated.” I whisper into her ear, Jenny replies in a whisper, I’m glad you can act as our safety valve, I was getting worked up as well.”

“Come on you two, stop whispering sweet nothings, we want some pictures for the scrap book that don’t have an eighteen rating.” This was from Sue. I reply,

“I thought the scrap book was side members only, otherwise you would have thousands of photos in there.” Ken replies with,

“If you think you and your lovely...What, Girlfriend, affianced, lover, I don’t know what label or name fits, it’s none of my business, is going to get away from us, you have another think coming, both of you have already been discussed by the side and we want both of you in the side, so there, you’ve been out voted.” Jenny puts her view forward with;

“I like the way our lives are being pre planned for us, when are we going to be given our scripts? So that we can do what we’re told when it is convenient for everyone else.” While this tirade was going on Jenny was squeezing my hand, releasing and increasing pressure, in time with her little rant. “If I were to ask Frank to marry me and move out to Stortford while we rent out his house, do you think we would drive to the coast every week to practice, these are our lives, and we will run them how we want to. Thank you.” She then takes a bow, and looking straight at Ken says;

“Right little diva aren’t I.”

“You had me going there for a moment” Says Ken;

“I thought I’d dropped a big one, Frank, if I were you I’d get on one knee, ask her and when she says yes make sure ‘obey’ is in the vows.”

“This time yesterday they were betting beer on whether we were emotionally connected, now I’m practically under orders to propose, what do you have to say, my treasure?”

“Is there any more wine, my flower?”

“I’ll go look treasure; I think there must be half a glass left. Can I have my camera please Ken?” Ken gives me my camera and before I go for Jenny’s wine I snap a couple of candid shots, back in the awning I pour the rest of the wine into Jenny’s glass and take a sip, yes, definitely edgy seems a lot worse than half an hour ago, I take the wine out to Jenny, she takes a sip and pulls a face,

“Flower, have you tried this.”

“Yes, most definitely past its best, I’m amazed at how fast it has gone downhill.” Sue overhears our conversation,

“Could I have a taste please, I don’t know what I am looking for but if you can both tell its going; I should be able to detect something.” Sue takes a slurp,

“It seems a bit harsh, I wouldn’t want to drink too much of it.”Sue gives me the glass and wanders over to Kath and Richard.

“Treasure, would you like a Hobgoblin,”

“Yes please flower, then can we take a wander and talk”

“I’ll tell Blackwater we are going walkabout, I can lock up and leave the beer on the table, they might wait around for us they might not, and I’m not worried either way.” Ken has gone into our awning and is having another beer, I pick up my camera, fill my tankard with hobgoblin and pickup the other half of Jenny’s hobgoblin.

“Jenny and I are going walkabouts for half an hour, Blackwater, collectively are more than welcome to stay and help yourselves to beer, if you leave, please put the booze under the van and zip the awning, We will see you here or at the Gordon lunchtime, is that ok?”

“Fine plan, Frank. If or when you pop the question, and she says yes if she wants someone to give her away can you book my place at the front of the queue, I know I’ve known her less time than you but she can easily get to a person, you and her are like peas in a pod, she’s special, see you later.”

I get back to Jenny and top up her tankard then take the empty back to the van, When I return to Jenny’s side it looks like she is about to start crying so my arm goes around her back to rest on her hip and I ask her to look at me, and after a quick peck on the lips, I ask

“Where do you fancy going walkabouts, my love?”

“Just do a lap of the field, let’s head down towards Blackwater’s end first and walk round the running track.”

“Is the pressure getting to you love, I know what it’s like with Ken and co, they will run weaker spirited people’s lives for them, given half a chance, I find it best to bend with the pressure and then do exactly what you want to, if you show the character to do what you want and go for it, they will bend with the pressure.”

“It’s not all Ken and Sue, I am adding to the problem, making promises I don’t think I can keep, this morning I practically promised you we would make love tonight, and I don’t think I can.” Jenny turns to me and starts crying, it’s seems to me that she has been fretting over this for a while.

“Don’t cry about that, I have been straining my brain trying to think of a way to not make love tonight that wouldn’t leave you feeling rejected or unloved, I could never do that, It’s sort of tricky to explain why, because there is more than one reason and I can’t put them into any sensible order.”

“You don’t have to put them in order, just list them.”

“Ok, first and simplest, is the old caravanning adage, ‘if it’s rocking, don’t come knocking’ I won’t be able to always make the earth move for you, but it’s easy to make the caravan move and the bed and springs to squeak in time with it, there is no privacy in a van, everybody knows exactly what you’re doing. Next, I suppose, I should tell you a story, years and years ago in the oh so depressing seventies, I was out on a bike ride with my girl friend at the time around Alton water, We had just pedalled then pushed our bikes up a fairly steep part of one of the valleys around it.

“Fuck me, I’m knackered” Janet said.

“No thanks, but thanks for the offer.”

“What do you mean?” She asked

“I am not a great believer in sex before marriage; it’s well known that the adolescent male brain migrates from his skull to his dick in his teens and doesn’t return until his thirties or marriage, he is supposedly incapable of telling the difference between love and lust. We can still do lots of things, but no sex, no pregnancy, no hassle.”

We were a lot closer after that, we didn’t split up until about a year later. I’ve only had two sex partners in my life; I really do wish it had been only one.

“So you’re saying we won’t have sex until after we are married, if we marry.”

“No, my brain has migrated back into my skull, I can tell the difference between lust and love, the physical and emotional aspects of our relationship, the distinction between the two was important to me then, and needed to be kept separate, now I’m a lot older, experienced, and hopefully wiser, I don’t need that bar or block on the physical side of a relationship, I can enjoy the whole glorious experience at once. What about you? How do you feel about us, our relationship and sex? I know you’re a virgin and have no experience of sex, but sex and its consequences carry such an emotional and physical responsibility for a female it must make a tremendous difference to how you feel about it.”

“On an instinctive level I have to admit sex scares me, I know it will hurt the first time, that’s not what I mean, I know, in here and here” pointing to head and heart “that sex is the way we procreate, and that I assume, is the emotional and physical responsibilities that you meant. The Pill, the welfare state, and my personal wealth should mean that I can control most aspects of the consequences of sex, up here in my head I know that but here in my heart, I know I have as much control as a snowflake in an Antarctic blizzard; if a man hits all the right buttons, no, that’s not right, if a man ticks all the boxes that my genes tell me would make him a good father of my children then he will probably be the one to inseminate me. Thankfully we no longer live in that sort of survival society, but all us females still carry the genetic programming that will keep the species going after Armageddon.

“I never thought of procreation in that way, it must make it very, very difficult to sort your emotional and physical desires. If there is reincarnation I wouldn’t fancy coming back as a female and having to handle that sort of load.” I say, and Jenny continues,

“As a guide to how this may possibly work in real life, I can quote you one example, at college I became good friends with a Goth girl, she was eighteen and had her life planned, she had found the man who was to father her children, next on her list was to find a dad for her children, finally she wanted a council house. That was her life, how she wanted it to be, I often wondered why she came to college, when I asked her “to meet men, find a dad for my kids.” that is all. She dropped out at the end of the college year. I haven’t seen her since.”

We have now nearly finished going round the semicircle at the bottom end of the track, “time for a bit of misdirection love, there will be a line of sight across the field to our van in a few yards and I think Blackwater are out and all looking this way, shall we have a cuddle or walk separately.

“Arm in arm and a lovely kiss from my flower would be just what his girlfriend ordered, thank you.” We pass another tent and move together for our kiss, as has happened before, we begin with a gentle lip massaging kiss, within a few seconds the temperature begins to rise steadily, and it isn’t all down to the sun, our tongues play in each other’s mouths for a short while until a ladies voice announces.......

Rating: 91%, Read 6598 times, Posted Dec 21, 2012

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