LAQUIFA: bungled butt plug by Keaton+Albertson

Rating: 59%, Read 13999 times, Posted Jul 13, 2010

True Story | Blowjob, Cum Swallowing, Female, Male, Oral Sex, Toys

While out Christmas shopping with my friend, Cheeseburger, I stopped by an adult novelties outlet store to hunt for some gift items for my family. Upon entering the massive warehouse of erotica, I witnessed a vast array of pornographic material and a wide selection of bedroom devices that would properly be suited atop a diesel mechanic’s workbench. Searching for potential holiday sales, Cheeseburger made his way over to the DVD selection while I walked around on the opposite side of the store to peruse the shelves of exotic merchandise.

As I marveled at the CyberSkin horse cock and the gargantuan butt plugs that were hanging on the walls, I came across a latex ass. The strange sex toy was reportedly shaped and molded after the buttocks of a well known porn star. Next to this forged ass were shelved all sorts of vibrating mouths, rubber vaginas, and enough fabricated penises to fill every nook and cranny of a seventh grade girls’ locker room. I was quite amazed at the size of many of the dildos, some of them being greater than the diameter of a bowling pin. In fact, there actually was a neoprene bowling pin for sell, displayed next to a latex arm and fist.

After having my astonishment fulfilled by thoroughly exploring the myriad items that people insert into their orifices, I wandered over to the racks of DVDs, where Cheeseburger was found busily searching through the titles of smut. Standing several aisled away from him, I began selecting certain movies from the available stock that had caught my eye and started yelling out to Cheeseburger for his advice on a possible purchase for my mother.

“Hey, Cheeseburger!” I hollered across the store. “What do you think of Cum-Slurping Whores Part Four? Should I get it for mom? It’s discounted.”

Cheeseburger shook his head in response to my inquiry while several nearby customers who were trying to keep a low profile shuffled away in embarrassment.

I selected another title from off the rack and held it up above my head for my friend to see. “What about Double Penetration Teens?” I yelled over to Cheeseburger. “It says here that there’s some great creampie shots.”

“Don’t your mom already have that one?” Cheeseburger responded back in a sarcastic tone.

“Hey, check this one out! Golden Showers and Squirting Snatch. Think she’d like that? It has a bloopers section on the bonus DVD.”

As I was placing the graphic film back upon the shelf, one of the store clerks approached me. She was a short black lady with gapped teeth and rows of disfigured freckles scattered over her cheeks. I immediately surveyed her body and determined that she was probably worth a poke, or at least good enough to suck me off. Her nametag read “Laquifa” and despite that fact that she had a busted grill, her thick curves definitely held my attention for a few moments. The woman was holding a blue-colored sex toy in her hands as she approached me. “Can I help you boys find somethin’?” she asked with a disenfranchised accent. “We have triple crowns, docking sleeves, and cock harnesses against the other wall over there.”

Reaching for another porn movie from off the rack, I quickly looked it over and demonstrated it to the clerk. “I was thinking about Gooey Facials Part Seven. Is it any good?”

“Oh, ya’ll like womens?” Laquifa replied. “Well, then, why don’t ya’ll get one of these?” She held out to me the strange sex toy in her hands.

“What the hell is that?” I asked.

“It’s a dolphin.”

Without touching the marital aid, I inspected it closely while Laquifa continued to exhibit it. The dildo was molded into the shape of a mutated dolphin, having a bulbous protrusion along its midsection and another strange growth coming out of the top of its head. As I was examining the item, Cheeseburger curiously walked up beside me.

The clerk rubbed the head of the dolphin. “This part goes inside the girl,” she explained, “while this part on top its head here vibrates.”

“What about that lower part down there?” Cheeseburger asked, pointing to the bulbous protrusion along the dolphin’s midsection.

“Womens can slide that part into their butts while pleasing their pussy,” Laquifa replied in a ghetto dialect.

“... Interesting,” Cheeseburger commented.

“My females don’t need any of that shit,” I proclaimed, grabbing my crotch. “I got all a woman needs right here.” Smirking, I then began to candidly interview the clerk. “Do people actually buy those things?”

“Yes, actually this is my last one.”

“Women, I mean.”


“Attractive women?” I probed. “—Girls who weigh less than three hundred pounds.”

Laquifa nodded her head up and down. “Yes.”

“There’s no reason why a girl needs to jill off if she’s got a thick schlong in her life,” I pointed out.

“Honey, every girl wants one of these, whether they gots a mans or not. You should buy one for your lady and see.”

I was momentarily distracted by the sight of two pudgy-looking men walking along the far wall of the store and entering what appeared to be a back room, the door of which was encased in shadow. Turning back to the clerk, I asked, “Why would my girlfriend want a piece of plastic over me? My personal equipment is bigger than that damn thing and I know what I’m doing with it.”

“But you’re not always around, honey!” Laquifa advised. “Us girls get lonely.”

“Well, then, you need to make some customer referrals over to me,” I told the clerk. “Next time you get some fine babe in here, all bummed out and disappointed because her man friend is small or not around much, you just hook her up with my digits and I’ll set her straight. I make house calls and I’m on-call day or night.”

“That’s true, he is,” Cheeseburger commented.

Laquifa jerked her head back in disbelief and stared at me. “Pa-lease, baby. You comin’ up in here, thinkin’ you’re some sort of Mack Daddy or somethin’? What you comin’ up in here for if you got so much game?”

“Christmas shopping,” I explained. “Me and my friend here just thought that we could stop by your fine establishment and do a little bargain hunting.”


“Well, tell me this much—what the hell is going on back there behind that door?” I asked, pointing toward the shadowy corner of the store where I had seen the two men enter earlier.

Laquifa glanced over at the area that I had indicated. She then said, “That’s the peep show.”

“You got girls back there behind some glass or something?” Cheeseburger asked.

“Naw, baby, them are just movies goin’ on back there. Guys buy tokens to go see a few minutes of it. They play with themselves and who knows what else goes on back there in the dark when they get together. They sure do make a mess though—Lordie!”

Looking past Laquifa, I noticed a life-sized doll that had been placed in a kneeling position upon the floor near the checkout counter. The doll had an oval-shaped, open mouth and resembled a mannequin bending over a log. “Now what the hell is that all about?” I asked the clerk, pointing at the doll.

Laquifa replied with a tinge of a negative attitude. “You’ve never seen a sex doll before, darlin’?”

“I’ve seen blow up dolls before but never a solid sex doll before, no. What the hell do you do with that thing when you’re finished? Do you just keep it in your closet next to your business suits or what?”

“Well, you have to clean it up first,” Laquifa responded.

I momentarily became baffled over the clerk’s comments. Then I realized that she was referring to the elimination of excess ejaculate that might accumulate inside the doll’s orifices. “Aw, now that’s just fuckin gross,” I finally stated.

Cheeseburger walked over to a large contraption that was placed on the opposite side of the counter. “Hey, Keaton, what about this?” he prompted, calling my attention to him.

I looked over to my friend and found him standing beside a set of large, metal poles that suspended a single, leather swing in the middle. “What the fuck...?”

“It’s on sale,” Cheeseburger stated, handling the price tag. “Three hundred bucks.”

“Have you actually sold one of those?” I asked the clerk.

“All the time, honey,” Laquifa answered.

“Well, um, what the hell do people do with that thing when they’re done with it? Do they just leave it set up inside their living room or what?”

The clerk shrugged in frustration. “I don’t know what people do inside their own houses, baby. That ain’t my business.”

“I just figured that since you work here you might hear a thing or two—”

“—Honey, the only thing I hear around here is the old white guys gettin’ off in the backroom while playin’ with themselves. Now, unless you’re gonna buy somethin’, I need to go back there and make sure they didn’t leave another mess on the floor.”

I stared at Laquifa’s switching hips as she set down her cherished dolphin toy and walked toward a mop bucket that was situated along the far wall. For some reason, her hooker gait really appealed to me. Or maybe it was the way that she handled the mop handle. In either case, I began fantasizing about having my way with the black hussy. “You must get paid pretty good to do this shit,” I said after her.

“It’s better they do their thing on the floor than on me,” the clerk stated as she began pushing the mop bucket away.

“Hey, hold on a second!” I called after Laquifa. I snatched up a business card and pen from off the checkout counter and quickly jotted down my telephone number. I then skipped over to the jizz-mopping clerk and offered her the card. “That’s my cell on there,” I advised. “If you ever want to hook up some time, just drop me a text or something.”

Laquifa smiled and stuffed the card inside the V-neck of her polo shirt, tucking it away inside her lacey bra. “Okay, baby,” she said, looking me up and down. “I’ll do that.”

As the clerk walked the mop bucket into the confines of the back roomed peep show booths, I continued to gaze at her plump ass.

“You gotta be shitting me,” Cheeseburger said to me. “You’re gonna hook up with that! You’re going to stick your dick into a black bitch porno store counter jockey? Haven’t you had enough bad experiences with trailer trash and prostitutes already?”

I released a chuckle over my friend’s quality assessment of Laquifa. “Skank bitch or not, I can’t have some woman doubting the power of my manhood,” I said to Cheeseburger. “I intend to show her how us white guys do it proper.”

Later that night, after I had dropped my friend off back at his apartment, I received a text message from the porn store clerk. It read: “cum see me at Knights Inn room 214. ~Laquifa.” Without so much as taking a shower or brushing my teeth, I sped on over to the Inn and quickly located the designated room. I rapped on the door and heard Laquifa’s distinct ghetto voice from within, inviting me to come inside.

Upon entering the smallish hotel room, I found the window drapes pulled closed and the slutty jigaboo lying across the bed, naked. There were a plethora of dildos and vibrators laid out around her nude body, strewn across the bed sheet in a random fashion. Laquifa had one of the dildos, the much talked about dolphin, an inch or so deep into her scruffy taco as I entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, Laquifa withdrew the moistened dolphin from her coochie and placed it on the nightstand beside her, causing it to hum softly against the furniture surface as it continued to vibrate.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come, baby.” Laquifa stated as she began to erotically caress her body with slow hand movements while seductively glaring at me.

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” I asked, unfastening my belt.

“‘Cause mens like to talk a lotta game but most of ya’ll don’t have nothin’ to back it up with.”

I shucked off my pants and boxers, revealing the large protuberance between my legs that looked like a baby’s arm holding an apple in its fist.

Laquifa grinned and nodded her head. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, mmm-hmm.” She got up off the bed and maneuvered around to greet me. The sultry spear-chucker then kneeled down and began petting my hard wood with both of her hands. “You damn sure weren’t lyin’. I heard that some of you white mens got dicks like brothers do. But this here is some straight nigger cock. Lord help me!”

“Why don’t you stop talking about it and go to work?” I suggested.

While cupping my drooping sack with one hand, Laquifa used the other to stroke my shaft. She spit on the tip of my boner and then popped it behind her African-sized lips. I fed every last inch of my meat into her mouth. Laquifa swallowed me up so deep that it felt like I was touching her esophagus with my glans. She slurped and gagged on my girth but kept right on bobbing her head like a circus seal while fondling my balls. Laquifa consumed my fat frank like a two-dollar whore, using her hands to jerk me off while intermittently squeezing my ass cheeks and pulling my groin into her face. As I felt a surge of meat mucous swell up inside my pole, I thought about giving Laquifa a courtesy tap to notify her of the imminent explosion. Seconds later, I dispelled the kind thought from my mind and let loose a load of nutritious semen soup over the top of her tongue.

With a gleaming dribble of cum seeping from her lips, Laquifa pulled her head away from my deflating chode. She tilted her jaw back and began to gargle on my ball milk as if she was rinsing her mouth out with sodium fluoride. Laquifa then swigged down my penis phlegm with an exaggerated swallow. She used her hands to wipe off the spunk residue from her mouth and then rubbed the milky substance over her dark areola, yanking and clutching onto her titties with great sexual excitement. I have never before witnessed such sluttish behavior off screen of an adult movie.

Once her thirst was quenched, the porch monkey crawled back on top of the hotel bed. “Go ahead,” she said. “Use anything you want on me.” Laquifa gestured to the myriad sex toys that she had spread across the sheets.

I removed the remainder of my clothing and selected the first weapon within reach, a silver vibrator. Cranking the unit on high speed, I began probing the bullet inside Laquifa’s filthy cooze. She closed her eyes and moaned slightly while I did so. I then alternated to a flesh-colored dildo and repeatedly penetrated her stinking hole with the latex dong. Switching over to a red-tinted device that looked like a cattle prod, I slid one of the bedroom accessories inside Laquifa’s pink with the other stuffed into her stink. I then crammed both of the phallus objects into her cunny at the same time and experimented with different paces and rhythm. Finally, I selected the largest of the dildos that Laquifa had brought along with her: a thick, double-ended, bright pink tube with ridges. I stuffed one end of the pink pulverizer inside Laquifa’s hatchet wound and the other into her anal cavity, simultaneously pumping both of her holes with glee. She moaned with each thrust until she started to wail.

“Do me from behind, baby,” Laquifa abruptly announced, as she removed the tube-shaped object from her orifices and rolled over to her knees. Laquifa propped her chocolate starfish into the air and assumed the doggy-style position. I readied the pink tool again. “Use the plug,” Laquifa suggested. “The plug.”

I looked over the available sex toys, most of them now shiny and wet from being coated with the black whore’s cunt juice, and rested my eyes upon a butt plug, similar to the one that I had witnessed in the porn store. The article was quite large, triangular in shape, and made entirely of rubber. I inserted the tapered end of the plug into Laquifa’s gaping snapper and she immediately resisted.

“Put it in my ass,” she demanded.

Following along with the store clerk’s request, I repositioned the tip of the butt plug to the center of Laquifa’s rectal region and then gave it a good push. There was no need for lubrication, as the ebony broad’s asshole was so loose that the plug slipped right inside. I systematically tugged and pushed, repeatedly sinking the anal additive into Laquifa’s ass, only to withdraw it again for another plunge. As I rammed her festering fart hole, Laquifa began to holler out additional commands. “Harder!” she shouted. “Harder! Oh, baby, push it. Ooooh. Yes! Oh, God, yes!”

I continued to pound Laquifa’s turd cove with the butt plug as she demanded. As my thrusts became more forceful, the sex supplement sank deeper inside her colon, widening her sphincter into a five-inch wide circle. Her rectum generated a great deal of natural juices, causing the plug to slide freely inside her despite its significant size. The latex mass soon became slippery with the collection of ass secretions around its base, making it increasingly more difficult for me to keep a grip onto the base of the plug while shoving it inside the clerk. Then, without warning, the entire butt plug became submerged into Laquifa’s body and disappeared out of sight between her black cheeks. I lost grip of the fecal filler and could not recover it.

“Oh! Oh!” Laquifa gasped. “That’s enough, baby. Take it out.”

A shot of worry wrinkled across my brow as I attempted to fit my fingers in between the surface of the plug and Laquifa’s stretched out sphincter muscles. I could not get a grip on the saturated ass ornament and it sank deeper into her intestinal tissue each time that I tried. I advised Laquifa of the poor prognosis. “Um, I can’t.”

Laquifa tried to sit up. “What do you mean you—?” Her words were cut short with a spike of pain racing through her abdomen. She immediately reassumed the doggy-style position in agony. “Ouch, shit, the hurts!” she said. “What—what happened? Oh, damn. Ouch.”

I repeatedly dug my fingers inside her colon and attempted to get a grip upon the butt plug so that I could withdraw it from Laquifa’s ass. There was no hope. It was inextricably wedged. “Um, I think we got a problem here,” I conceded.

“Problem? What do you mean?” Laquifa again tried to sit up but slammed herself right back down to her knees with the sharp discomfort of the foreign object inside her digestive track. “You can’t get it out?” she plead.


“Well, it’s gotta come out! What did you do?”

“I just did what you told me to,” I replied, standing up from the bed. I immediately began searching the floor for my clothes.

Laquifa looked over her shoulder at me, winching again in pain. “Where—where you going?” she asked, her dark-tipped tits jiggling beneath her as she ranted.

“I gotta go,” I announced, pulling up my pants.

“What the fuck you talkin’ about, nigga?” Laquifa demanded, her ghetto accent heightening. “You best be handlin’ this shit right the fuck now. I can’t move!”

I pulled my shirt over my head and slipped on my shoes. “Look, I’ll go get some help and come right back.”

“Help? You ain’t bringing no other muthafucka up in here seein’ me like this!”

“Well, what would you have me do then?” I asked, tying up my shoes.

Laquifa tried to turn around but was halted once more by the pain of the butt plug poking into her intestines. “You are not going to just up and leave me like this!” she insisted.

“No, I wasn’t going to leave you entirely like this,” I replied, walking over to the dolphin dildo that she had placed on the nightstand. “Here, I’ll turn your toy off so you don’t run down the battery.” I picked up the blue, dolphin-shaped vibrator and twisted its base, effectively turning the unit off. “See, there you go. So don’t be saying that I never helped you out. Now, I’ll be right back. Just sit tight. Or, I mean, be loose. Whatever—you know what I mean!”

Laquifa let out a deep groan and grunted as she desperately tried to push the wedged butt plug out of her body. While she did so, I quietly abandoned her inside the hotel room and left the crime scene.

With having no intentions to find Laquifa any aid for her anal affliction, I drove straight over to Cheeseburger’s apartment and told him all about the affair. While sitting on the couch exchanging laughs with my friend, I received a final text message from the porn store clerk. It read: “I got it out you owe me $16.02 for half of hotel room. ~Laquifa.”

Rating: 59%, Read 13999 times, Posted Jul 13, 2010

True Story | Blowjob, Cum Swallowing, Female, Male, Oral Sex, Toys


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